Actually Yes, Toxic Masculinity DOES Exist [OPINION]
This article is being written in response to an article on our sister station's website, New Jersey 101.5.
So now I have a few things to say in response.
The article begins by stating that, "the young generation [is] being brainwashed into thinking that men are the problem..."
Not all men are, no. But there is a very real reason that causes like the #MeToo movement have become so well-known. It is because almost every single woman that I know -- no, I am not saying that ALL of these acts were done by men -- or have known at some point or another wrote the words "Me Too" on social media.
So a majority of the woman you know have been psychically violated. People who think that there is no problem are part of the problem.
The article then says, "We are raising a generation of weak dependents in the name of eliminating a 'toxin.' That is illogical and dangerous."
Here is where the common misunderstanding happens. You do not need to be masculine to be strong and independent. THIS SENTENCE right here is the very idea that men need to act one way and women need to act another.
Now the biggest sentence here is, "The same men viewed as 'toxic' for displaying aggressive behavior are the same men who will run up flights of stairs in a burning building to save strangers."
May I add that there are a lot of situations where a man utilizing his masculinity is a perfectly healthy situation.
But a lot has changed within the past ten years alone and the big difference is that now, everyone's voice is being heard. Things that you have said about a flamboyant male or over-athletic female are now being deemed not okay.
Plus, avoid generalizing because no two people are exactly the same. And may I add that courage to save others has absolutely nothing to do with how "masculine" or "aggressive" you are to others in everyday life.
So basically, your capability to help others in an extenuating circumstance does not give you the right to be aggressive towards others or make them feel lesser than.
I am so grateful for anyone who helps to save others but I have met so many cops, firefighters and police officers who know how to be respectful and kind while also doing their jobs.
And finally, the article states that we are "raising a generation of victims."
We actually HAVE BEEN raising victims because if you show any sign of being different, you become the victim. The hatred in this country is disturbingly real these days and is something that should be feared.
In 2019, the idea of "being a man" has drastically changed.
There is no arguing that there are many men out there who think they are above others because of said "masculinity," and THAT is where a lot of the issues arise.
Being a man means to support those around you no matter the personality characteristics they portray, their physical appearance, gender, sexual orientation, religion, race or any other elements that help to define a person.
It means that if you choose to be a father, be a man that you would be proud to have your offspring look up to. Be a man that if and when you have a daughter, you would want her to end up with a man like you if she so chooses that path.
It means to be patient with others and respect.
In the words of Ellen DeGeneres, "Be Kind."
I thank you.
Nicole S. Murray
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