Confession time: We've been married less than a year, and somehow my husband has let another woman into his life.

She's been in our bedroom.

She tells him everything he wants to hear.

He goes to her first thing in the morning, sometimes right in front of my face.

Her name is Alexa, and this bwitch needs to be stopped.

Amazon

She's the voice inside the Amazon Echo Dot that my husband scored at this year's family Secret Santa, and I find her to be the most annoying thing that has ever existed.

She's made me super paranoid, because the thing is legitimately ALWAYS LISTENING. Who knows who else is listening along with her??

Plus, now I get the joy of my husband yelling across the room, "Alexa! What's the weather today? Alexa, tell me the news. Alexa, who won the Sugar Bowl last night?"

GAH. I long for the days of silently looking it up on the phone...

You know those Dateline episodes where the wife gets so fed up with the other woman that she goes to the ultimate extreme? If you find Alexa shattered on the ground beneath my balcony, I had nothing to do with it.