The New Oreo Flavors Sound Awful, So Here Are Some NJ-Themed Substitutes
You may or may not have heard that Oreo has announced the impending arrival of two new flavors.
One of America's most popular cookies announced on Thursday that it will be releasing an apple cider donut-flavored cookie AND a salted caramel brownie-flavored one this August. I'm not quite sure how you're feeling about this, but I can only get on board with one of these. It's going to be 'no' from me on the Apple Cider Donut Oreo.
Sorry, but there's no way it could possibly taste even remotely close to a real apple cider doughnut. I'm imagining a red velvet-flavored cinnamon concoction that's not sounding too pleasing to my taste buds. No mouth-watering here.
To be fair, I can get behind the salted caramel brownie one. That doesn't sound terrible. I'm just such a huge fan of the original Oreo, so I'm of the belief that nothing needs to be changed about the taste. An Oreo is and Oreo. Let it be an Oreo!
The folks over at Oreo's corporate office clearly disagree with me, so here we are. Fine. Then, allow me to put my own personal suggestions into the suggestion box. What if New Jersey-fied the Oreo?
Check out my suggestions for a few New Jersey-themed Oreo flavors -
1.) The Boardwalk Funnel Cake Oreo: Even though we already have fried Oreos aplenty on all of our boardwalks here in South Jersey, they're not as much of a staple as funnel cake. Imagine if Oreo released a Funnel Cake Oreo? Then, we could have Funnel Cake Fried Oreos on the boardwalk! We need to make this happen.
2.) The Pancakes and Pork Roll Oreo: Ignore the pork roll sandwich in the picture. The point is all about the pork roll! After all, is it really Jersey-themed if there's no mention of pork roll? I think not. A pork roll Oreo by itself, though? Doesn't sound too appetizing. Throw in, however, some pancake and maple syrup flavors and you've got an automatic winner.
3.) The Vanilla Custard with Rainbow Jimmies Oreo: It's all about the rainbow Jimmies with this one. Everyone else calls them "sprinkles". Down here in South Jersey, they're Jimmies. So, make sure you get the title right, Oreo!
4.) The Hoagie Oreo: Not exactly my best flavor suggestion, but it's probably just weird and "out-there" enough to spark people's curiosity. Guarantee, people would buy it just because they'd HAVE to try it.
This one might be my best flavor idea yet. Are you ready?? It has to do with this (see below)
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5.) The Cherry Water Ice Oreo
Besides pork roll and hoagies, what's more Jersey than water ice? Also, not for nothing, but a Cherry-flavored cookie with a nice vanilla cream filling would probably taste like a cherry gelati!
Personally, I think almost all of these are better alternatives to the Apple Cider Donut Oreo. Now, if someone could set up a meeting with President Oreo, that'd be fantastic. We could really get the ball rolling, hah!