Awkward Questions People Have Asked Me Since I Got Engaged

As you get older, we all seem to hear the same questions, and I'm pretty sure I've heard most of them in the last (almost) year and a half since getting engaged.

Here's my list of awkward/inappropriate/annoying/odd questions I've been asked...(and the answers I wish I could have given.)

My face when I'm thinking, "...really?" (Laurie Cataldo)

I'm confident that 90% of these were not said with bad intent, and most times people want to make conversation and just don't know what else to say, but sometimes people are just rude. Some of these were said by friends and family, but several were from complete strangers, which makes it even more awkward.

1
"Who's paying for your wedding?"
What I actually said: "Um...I don't really...could you pass the bread?"
What I wanted to say: "Unless you're offering, it's none of your business."
2
"Are you going to start having kids right away?"
What I said: "Not even a little bit."
What I wanted to say: "Do you want a schedule of when have sex? How do you even know we want kids? What if we don't? What if we DID want kids and found out we're infertile? Do you realize why this is a terrible question?"
3
"When are you going to buy a house?"
WIS: "Uh...I don't know...eventually, I'm sure."
WIWTS: "Are you offering me money for the down payment? Or the mortgage? Did you want to handle my student loan payments?"
4
"How big of a house do you think you'll buy?"
WIS: "I think it depends on what we can afford."
WIWTS: "Are you just trying to ask how much my fiance and I make?"
5
"Ew, why would you want to go to Hawaii for your honeymoon?"
WIS: ::awkward laugh:: "Where do you think I should go?"
WIWTS: "Because it looks f'ing beautiful and I've wanted to go there since I was 5."
6
"Why are you having so many people at your wedding?"
WIS: "Well, we both have big families..."
WIWTS: "I'm Italian. And I'm getting old. So I know a lot of people."
7
"Why don't you have more stuff on your registry?"
WIS: "Oh, um, you don't have to...I can add more? We don't...let me take a look at it..."
WIWTS: "We have a one bedroom apartment and don't need all that much...and I already feel really awkward about having a registry because it makes it seem like we're demanding gifts and we just want to celebrate the day with everyone and OH MY GOD I'M SORRY."
8
"Weddings are great...til you get divorced."
(Okay, this one's not a question, but it was actually said to me by someone I don't know that well...and my brother's fiancee said someone recently said the same thing to her!!)
WIS: "Oh...um...yeah...that's terrible."
WIWTS: "WTF? Why would you say that? Do you think we don't know about the divorce rate? Can you take your negativity somewhere else? Kthxbye."
9
"Why are you having ABC at your wedding? You should have done XYZ."
WIS: "Oh, yeah that's a good idea!"
WIWTS: "Because it's what we wanted. You can have what YOU like at YOUR wedding."
10
"Are you nervous?"
WIS: "Nah, I'm ready!"
WIWTS: "If by nervous, you mean excited, then yes!"
What my brain says: "Why does everyone keep asking this? Am I supposed to be nervous? Do I look nervous? Am I forgetting something?? Is this wedding doomed if I'm not nervous??? NOW I'M NERVOUS ABOUT NOT BEING NERVOUS."

When it comes down to it...before you ask a question, ask yourself this first: "Do I really need to know the answer? Is this person probably sick of having to answer this question?"

Examples of better questions/things to say:

"Getting married is exciting! What are you most excited to plan?"
"What are you looking forward to most after the wedding?"
"Hawaii sounds great...my husband and I went to wherever on our honeymoon, you guys should check it out someday!"
"Weddings are great. If you ever want advice on what NOT to do in a marriage, let me know."

4 days to go!

Source: Awkward Questions People Have Asked Me Since I Got Engaged