The 13 Creepiest Things a Child Has Ever Said to a Parent
Here’s a list that made me laugh and arch my eyebrows nervously all in the same read. Kids. Love ’em, Can’t live without ’em. But kids can say some creepy things to parents at times…and other people, too!
Parents on Reddit.com posed a challenge to the community: Post the creepiest thing your young child has said to you.
Here are 13 of their favorites from the thread of comments.Tell me which ones you find especially creepy or leave your kids creepy saying in the comments section below…
1. I jokingly asked “what’s the best way to get a girlfriend?” 7-year-old’s response: “tell her to be my girlfriend or she’ll never see her parents again.”
2. I was tucking in my two year old. He said “good bye dad.” I said “no we say good night.” He said “I know, but this time it’s good bye.” Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was there.
3. My three year old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for awhile then turned and looked at me and said, “Daddy it’s a monster…we should bury it.”
4. I was sound asleep and at around 6 a.m. I was woken up by my four year old daughter’s face inches from mine. She looked right into my eyes and whispered, “I want to peel all your skin off.”
5. My niece was sitting on the couch with a weird look on her face. Her mom asked her what she was thinking about, and she said, “I’m imagining the waves of blood rushing over me.”
6. My five year old: “Mommy, when you die I want to put you in a glass jar so I can keep you and see you forever” to which the six year old responds “that’s stupid. Where are you gonna find a jar that big?”
7. “Before I was born here I had a sister right? Her and my other mom are so old now. They were okay when the car was on fire but I sure wasn’t!”
8. My daughter is four and has taken to telling nonsensical knock knock jokes (ex: “Why did the momma cross the road? Because her arms were noodles.”) One day she busts this one out “Why did the butt cross the road? Because it had a plug in it.”
9. My toddler went through a phase where she would just constantly say “Hi” to things. “Hi hi hi hi hi hi.” One day, it came out sounding more like “die die die die” so I say to her, “What’s that you’re saying” and she turns to face me and just whispers “Diiieeeeeee……”
10. Getting my two and a half year old daughter out of the bath one night, my wife and I were briefing her on how important it was for her to keep her privates clean. She casually replied “oh, nobody ‘scroofs’ me there. They tried one night. They kicked the door in and tried but i fought back. I died but now I’m here.” She said this like it was nothing.
11. My three year old son generally has a happy-go-lucky attitude, so this is pretty odd. Sometimes when he’s cuddling his mommy he says, very seriously “Mom, I promise I won’t ever chew on your bones. I promise.”
12. A friend of mine’s child told him “Daddy, I love you so much that I want to cut your head off and carry it around so I can see your face whenever I want.”
13. “So I shouldn’t throw him in the fire” three-year-old daughter holding her baby brother for the first time.