He may be a captain in the Absecon Police force, but you tell this man had some mad skills in his high school creative writing class. 

This is the Absecon Police Facebook post about two women shoplifters. It is a very entertaining read, plus we may just catch a couple of crooks along the way...

"Ok, internet investigators. Bring it in close, take a knee and eyes up here. Briefing is about to begin. We got a fresh case from the Captain's desk.
#LookAtMeImTheCaptainNow (that hashtag makes a lot more sense when you read it in a Somali-pirate-from-the-Captain-Phillips-movie voice).

Anywho, this is again from our friends at CVS concerning that pesky crime of shoplifting. Our last post hurt some feelings so we promise not to compare these pictured ladies to the Spice Girls, TLC or Destiny's Child. We also won't be mentioning hairdos. Make your own inferences.
The interwebs can be scary so if you're easily offended consider our page your internet #SafeSpace. Unless you commit crimes... then you might feel exposed.

These ladies arrived in the pictured van. The female wearing glasses entered the store shortly before the female in the pink headband. Ms. Glasses approached the register and tried to return some items, which looks an awful lot like an attempt to distract the employees, while Ms. Headband loaded items into her bag. The females then exit the store without paying for anything and drive off together.

If you recognize Ms. Glasses or Ms. Headband or the vehicle please call the #Absecon police department. Tips can be anonymous, or not. We don't discriminate against tips."

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